Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

I was tired of fighting.

How do I get fit at home?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Be who you already are.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Is using an ambulance really free in countries with universal healthcare, or are there hidden costs like deductibles that people should know about?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s still here.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Do older women know what they want?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I had run out of hope.

Can I see some saggy tit pics and huge areolas pics?

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are like me, then.

I've played The Outer Worlds 2, and this Xbox RPG seriously improves on its predecessor in one big way - Windows Central

The sadness was still there.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Do all armies have the same rank structure?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

And the sadness?

What kind of book did you write after turning 55?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Have you ever been humiliated in front of a group of girls and enjoyed it?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

This is a real question: Why do a lot of men/boys hate (yes, hate) women that voice their criteria in choosing a partner? Even when the criteria is sane and responsible. Besides it being, sadly, an effective mating strategy, why does it exist?

It’s here now, writing to you.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.